Welcome to this sitE
I am Deborah Ham, developer of ‘The Chair Method’ (De Stoel-methode) and founder of the foundation Een hoop om te delen (A Hope to Share). In the years that I learned to apply the method myself, I often did so from the chair I was sitting in, overwhelmed by the psychiatric suffering of that moment. I translated negative symptoms as a suppression of one's true self. By focusing on small goals, meaningful in their own right, I managed to remain stable through this suffering while staying connected to my immediate environment.
The foundation of the method was laid earlier; not in those later years of safe application within our loving family, but rather in a dark place and a state of being lost. It was a place I never wanted to return to, dating back to my teenage years.
Preserving ‘the good’ has been the driving force behind The Chair Method.
The foundation of the method was laid earlier; not in those later years of safe application within our loving family, but rather in a dark place and a state of being lost. It was a place I never wanted to return to, dating back to my teenage years.
Preserving ‘the good’ has been the driving force behind The Chair Method.
The Chair Method
The method covers five distinct areas.
You can choose to go through all of them or focus on just one.
Each section contains a number of core questions.
Being open to these questions is also a confrontation with how you are truly doing.
Therefore, the number of questions you answer is flexible. There is a natural progression and overlap between the questions.
The core of the method is a mechanism I call ‘pop-up answers’: you allow an initial response to surface and then let it go as you proceed with your day. This active releasing of the answer by moving on with daily activities is a vital component.
In times of mental suffering, this ability is often under pressure. At the same time, the questions are non-threatening; they are fundamental questions aimed at navigating that suffering as authentically as possible.
At certain moments, sometimes weeks later, an answer may return and be adjusted (addressing powerlessness) or serve as a source of support (regaining grip). This is how meaningful friction is created.
The Chair Method consists of the following components:
You can choose to go through all of them or focus on just one.
Each section contains a number of core questions.
Being open to these questions is also a confrontation with how you are truly doing.
Therefore, the number of questions you answer is flexible. There is a natural progression and overlap between the questions.
The core of the method is a mechanism I call ‘pop-up answers’: you allow an initial response to surface and then let it go as you proceed with your day. This active releasing of the answer by moving on with daily activities is a vital component.
In times of mental suffering, this ability is often under pressure. At the same time, the questions are non-threatening; they are fundamental questions aimed at navigating that suffering as authentically as possible.
At certain moments, sometimes weeks later, an answer may return and be adjusted (addressing powerlessness) or serve as a source of support (regaining grip). This is how meaningful friction is created.
The Chair Method consists of the following components:
- Intro: Accessibility and technique
- Height: How to preserve the good?
- Depth: What about the world?
- Backrest Height: How to deal with the truth?
- Armrest Height: Should mental suffering determine everything?
- Tailormade: Distinguishing (help/support/independence) and communication
Empowerment and Proximit
Whatever the circumstances, the method focuses on empowerment within one's own environment. This means you can answer a question or complete a section with someone beside you or in the same room (proximity).
Above all, it means that the answers you give have an impact on your personal environment: people will notice!
The 'Tailormade' component has a special status for this reason.
People may begin to wonder: "Why do you do one thing but not the other?" or "Why do you make this choice now, when you chose differently in a similar moment?"
Sharing the logic of the suffering psyche is what creates 'equal sharing' (gelijke delen).
A psyche going through mental suffering works differently than a healthy, resilient psyche.
The suffering person may block when overwhelmed and follow standard patterns. This is not inherently a ‘mental illness’; many healthy people in today's society voluntarily choose a blocked mind by sticking to well-trodden paths of thought and soul.
When it comes to psychological suffering, Een hoop om te delen believes we must go around or directly through it to create friction. To tap into one's authenticity, letting go, and thus not overextending yourself, is essential.
The connection formed around these core questions with people you choose, in your own environment and at your own time, is part of the method.
The goal is to create a foundation of 'equal sharing' where truths can exist side by side.
Above all, it means that the answers you give have an impact on your personal environment: people will notice!
The 'Tailormade' component has a special status for this reason.
People may begin to wonder: "Why do you do one thing but not the other?" or "Why do you make this choice now, when you chose differently in a similar moment?"
Sharing the logic of the suffering psyche is what creates 'equal sharing' (gelijke delen).
A psyche going through mental suffering works differently than a healthy, resilient psyche.
The suffering person may block when overwhelmed and follow standard patterns. This is not inherently a ‘mental illness’; many healthy people in today's society voluntarily choose a blocked mind by sticking to well-trodden paths of thought and soul.
When it comes to psychological suffering, Een hoop om te delen believes we must go around or directly through it to create friction. To tap into one's authenticity, letting go, and thus not overextending yourself, is essential.
The connection formed around these core questions with people you choose, in your own environment and at your own time, is part of the method.
The goal is to create a foundation of 'equal sharing' where truths can exist side by side.
Prevention and Recovery
Regarding psychological and mental suffering, it is a universal truth that resilience found through one's own initiative, in one's own environment, and with the right timing, yields the most sustainable results. The method is preventive and complementary to the current healthcare landscape (as an early intervention, to support you alongside current care, or as reflective aftercare).
Een hoop om te delen focuses on daily resilience and the capacity for recovery in the 'now'. We see the grief and the hardship, but we do not zoom in on this. We believe the suffering person is done a disservice when there is an overwhelming focus on the misery. Every spark of recovery capacity deserves full focus.
For me, the basis of The Chair Method lies in a state of loss I wanted to avoid. This also led to the decision to write the book 'Monster van psychose: een eerlijk verhaal over lijden en hoop' (Monster of Psychosis: an honest story of suffering and hope), by my husband Roelof Ham. In this story, the reader gets a glimpse of what the internal world of a psychosis can look like.
Een hoop om te delen focuses on daily resilience and the capacity for recovery in the 'now'. We see the grief and the hardship, but we do not zoom in on this. We believe the suffering person is done a disservice when there is an overwhelming focus on the misery. Every spark of recovery capacity deserves full focus.
For me, the basis of The Chair Method lies in a state of loss I wanted to avoid. This also led to the decision to write the book 'Monster van psychose: een eerlijk verhaal over lijden en hoop' (Monster of Psychosis: an honest story of suffering and hope), by my husband Roelof Ham. In this story, the reader gets a glimpse of what the internal world of a psychosis can look like.
Supporting our missioN
The greatest support consists of joining our mission. You do this by showing the difference that can be made in how the suffering person is seen and heard in society.
We need to show society that people with mental or psychiatric challenges are already a part of it.
Een hoop om te delen moves beyond shame and beyond the solutions devised behind desks. We aim for the place where lasting change is set in motion and authentic empowerment is achieved.
The Chair Method reaches a core that lies on a deeper level.
Its main goal is to always strike that one ‘hook’ in the 'now' that expands living space at that moment.
We need to show society that people with mental or psychiatric challenges are already a part of it.
Een hoop om te delen moves beyond shame and beyond the solutions devised behind desks. We aim for the place where lasting change is set in motion and authentic empowerment is achieved.
The Chair Method reaches a core that lies on a deeper level.
Its main goal is to always strike that one ‘hook’ in the 'now' that expands living space at that moment.
Is The Chair Method for me?
The Chair Method serves as a restorative addition to the current healthcare landscape.
For the Een hoop om te delen foundation, the tension between autonomy and community also means that we choose not to participate in the pervasive ‘disclaimer culture.’
The method requires a certain mindset. By taking responsibility for the choices made (driven by the desire to preserve, secure, or reclaim one’s uniqueness) the parameters within which you wish to remain are established.
Feel free to adapt this method to other contexts and populations beyond the specific one described here.
Our approach to psycho-education is about sharing as equals.
For the Een hoop om te delen foundation, the tension between autonomy and community also means that we choose not to participate in the pervasive ‘disclaimer culture.’
The method requires a certain mindset. By taking responsibility for the choices made (driven by the desire to preserve, secure, or reclaim one’s uniqueness) the parameters within which you wish to remain are established.
Feel free to adapt this method to other contexts and populations beyond the specific one described here.
Our approach to psycho-education is about sharing as equals.
Process and Reflection
The questions within the Chair Method always aim to achieve conscious ownership of recovery by focusing on resilience.
Built into the method is a fluid element; I wholeheartedly encourage you to select and find an element of the method that does appeal to you. The freedom the method offers is its strength, precisely because it contains triage, yet also the humility of knowing: no one holds the key to someone else’s recovery.
The method supports finding the resilience of one’s own identity. My characteristics are not yours.
What is confronting to me may not be to you, and vice versa.
In this way, the method places itself alongside the person practicing it: the chair... as an identification with the loneliness that accompanies psychological and mental suffering, in order to move toward a brave engagement with life in society.
Built into the method is a fluid element; I wholeheartedly encourage you to select and find an element of the method that does appeal to you. The freedom the method offers is its strength, precisely because it contains triage, yet also the humility of knowing: no one holds the key to someone else’s recovery.
The method supports finding the resilience of one’s own identity. My characteristics are not yours.
What is confronting to me may not be to you, and vice versa.
In this way, the method places itself alongside the person practicing it: the chair... as an identification with the loneliness that accompanies psychological and mental suffering, in order to move toward a brave engagement with life in society.
About me.
Since my early thirties, I have lived with psychosis sensitivity.
Before that, I saw from the outside what psychosis can do. With full conviction, I once tried to talk someone out of their delusions.
Disruption, destruction, and fine downy hairs are imprinted on my mind when I hear the word psychosis. When the word 'psychosis' was mentioned in relation to me, I was immensely startled. I also knew that I had to find a path.
This i knew because, in my puberty, I had traveled a long road of severe mental suffering.
The combination of my past and the psychotic state I had apparently fallen into, fixed my focus on preserving what was good.
What I share and say about it comes from my experience.
Years later, the result of that path is visible on this site. Online November 26, 2025: De Stoel-methode (The Chair Method).
My desire is that people will be strengthened, encouraged, and uplifted by it.
Wishing you strength and wisdom in your situation.
Before that, I saw from the outside what psychosis can do. With full conviction, I once tried to talk someone out of their delusions.
Disruption, destruction, and fine downy hairs are imprinted on my mind when I hear the word psychosis. When the word 'psychosis' was mentioned in relation to me, I was immensely startled. I also knew that I had to find a path.
This i knew because, in my puberty, I had traveled a long road of severe mental suffering.
The combination of my past and the psychotic state I had apparently fallen into, fixed my focus on preserving what was good.
What I share and say about it comes from my experience.
Years later, the result of that path is visible on this site. Online November 26, 2025: De Stoel-methode (The Chair Method).
My desire is that people will be strengthened, encouraged, and uplifted by it.
Wishing you strength and wisdom in your situation.